Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Dying Unhappy Is Optional

I laid awake last night thinking about a dead guy . . . actually, a dead rich guy.  He was only 73 years old.  He married well and worked hard enough to be wealthy and retired by age 50.  To fight the boredom of retirement, he ran a retail store for several years, until that became boring as well.  Over the twenty-some years that I knew him, he sank deeper and deeper into depression.  Death must have been a relief for him.

Sitting in the church for his memorial, I remembered Abraham Lincoln's famous comment that "Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be" and then I wondered why the dead rich guy didn't make up his mind to be happy.  Being in church, I wondered if the Bible could shed any light and found that the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Philippians said "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances . . . I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."  (emphasis added)

Certainly, it is not a question of rich or poor.  Money has minimal relationship to happiness.  I've known other rich people who died quite happy, and I've known poor people who died happy while some died unhappy.  So have you!

Then, I ran across the story of a sailor in World War II, named Clark Poling, who had just written a letter to his parents when the ship came under attack, and the sailors were forced to abandon ship.  The over-loaded troop transport ship didn't have enough life jackets, and Poling willingly gave his to a younger sailor, asking him only to deliver that letter to his parents.  In that last letter, he wrote, "I know I shall have your prayers, but please don't pray simply that God will keep me safe.  War is dangerous business.  Pray that God will make me adequate."

Maybe, it is not a question of dying happy.  Maybe, it is a question of dying content.  Have I been adequate to the challenges in my life?  Have I been adequately compensated in some combination of money, love, experiences, perspectives, and thoughts in this life?

The existential view is that a dead rich guy is just another dead guy.  We are kings of our own individual islands and can control whether we are happy or not, content or not, adequate or not.  If my compensation package of money, love, experiences, perspectives, and thoughts is inadequate, then it is my responsibility to determine what is missing.  If there is not enough money, maybe I can add some love or some experiences to the package?  But, whatever it is, it will be adequate.  I will be content.  I can control this.  I am king of my island - myself.  So are you!