Although often characterized as dour fatalists, existentialists normally have a good sense of humor, as well as a highly-sensitive nose for absurdity. I can now pronounce that, with all existential authority, the debate over gun control has officially entered the realm of absurdity.
JOKE: Why did God invent Ziploc plastic bags?
ANSWER: So that good God-fearing Americans can bury some of their guns in the back yard or some remote wooded area where Obama cannot find them.
This is absurd! Now, suppose you are a president who actually wants to confiscate guns. (With 323 million Americans and over 350 million guns, we do seem to have a few extra.) But, how do you actually take physical possession of those guns? There are approximately 800 thousand police officers in this country. You have to tell all of them to stop working on murder cases, rape cases, corruption cases, traffic safety and all the other important things that police officers do for us everyday. There can be only one important duty for the police, i.e., confiscating hidden weapons by dismantling every house in America and digging up every square foot of the continent. Favorite hiding places for guns are inside drywall and under the back porch. You'll have to dismantle and dig! This is logistically crazy! In fact, it is even absurd!
I suppose you could require everybody on unemployment or welfare to begin dismantling and digging but just try getting that passed by Congress. Even if you did that, how many would get shot dead when they approached the home of some "good old boy" to dismantle it.
Even if you think guns should be confiscated, how would you do it? Mission Impossible! You may think Obama is downright evil, but he is not stupid enough to attempt this impossible mission.
Full Disclosure: I have lots of guns. I say lots, because I really don't know how many. They are scattered across several locations. Like the late Charlton Heston, they will confiscate my guns when they pry my cold, dead fingers off the trigger. Nonetheless, I favor compulsory background checks for every gun owner, new and existing. In addition, I favor mandatory gun safety classes for every new gun purchaser and don't care what the NRA thinks.
JOKE: Why did God invent Ziploc plastic bags?
ANSWER: So that good God-fearing Americans can bury some of their guns in the back yard or some remote wooded area where Obama cannot find them.
This is absurd! Now, suppose you are a president who actually wants to confiscate guns. (With 323 million Americans and over 350 million guns, we do seem to have a few extra.) But, how do you actually take physical possession of those guns? There are approximately 800 thousand police officers in this country. You have to tell all of them to stop working on murder cases, rape cases, corruption cases, traffic safety and all the other important things that police officers do for us everyday. There can be only one important duty for the police, i.e., confiscating hidden weapons by dismantling every house in America and digging up every square foot of the continent. Favorite hiding places for guns are inside drywall and under the back porch. You'll have to dismantle and dig! This is logistically crazy! In fact, it is even absurd!
I suppose you could require everybody on unemployment or welfare to begin dismantling and digging but just try getting that passed by Congress. Even if you did that, how many would get shot dead when they approached the home of some "good old boy" to dismantle it.
Even if you think guns should be confiscated, how would you do it? Mission Impossible! You may think Obama is downright evil, but he is not stupid enough to attempt this impossible mission.
Full Disclosure: I have lots of guns. I say lots, because I really don't know how many. They are scattered across several locations. Like the late Charlton Heston, they will confiscate my guns when they pry my cold, dead fingers off the trigger. Nonetheless, I favor compulsory background checks for every gun owner, new and existing. In addition, I favor mandatory gun safety classes for every new gun purchaser and don't care what the NRA thinks.
