Friday, April 4, 2014

On Eulogies

A chore is something mildly unpleasant that needs to be done.  A burden is something quite unpleasant that must be done.  A chore is going to a funeral.  A burden is delivering the eulogy.

People who knew the decedent want a pleasant insight into the decedent's life.  People who loved the decedent want to feel the warmth of that love one last time.

Delivering a eulogy comes disguised as an honor but really is a heavy burden.  Because a funeral can be ruined and the memory of the decedent can be stained by a bad eulogy, there is a great deal of pressure to do it right.  In addition, the person delivering the eulogy usually knows the decedent well enough to have emotions of their own, that should be suppressed during the eulogy.

My advice to those who must deliver a eulogy is to share lighthearted vignettes that each reveal a lesson-learned or a character trait of the decedent.  Facial expression is also important.  Smile with fondness, not with giddiness.  But, smile!  Don't be tempted to read or talk fast.  Slow down!  To control the emotions, avoid eye contact with the loved ones closest to you.  Lastly, don't expect applause, as that is considered inappropriate at a funeral.

Tomorrow, we return to the more pleasant world of economics and investments . . .